Pointes and Perspective #23 Becoming You

Becoming You

Last semester, I invited my parents to come to the University where I teach. The University is faith based and they host Chapel on Wednesdays. It's a beautiful service with guest speakers, a full band with beautiful vocalists, and several of the university’s dance companies perform. It is simply gorgeous. I thought my parents would really enjoy it because my dad plays guitar and he loves music, and my mom is very involved with her church.

After Chapel, my parents stayed to watch one of my classes because we drove out together. They were stuck with me for the day! I grabbed 2 chairs, set them up in a corner of the dance studio, and introduced them to my ballet students.

I suddenly had the worst stage fright! I had not been this nervous since I was a young performer! I had anxiety and my body was buzzing. Totally perplexed, I asked myself, “Why am I so nervous to teach in front of my parents?!”

For a quick moment, I recalled that when I was a young student, my parents would drop me off at dance school, I would enter the dance studio, and the door would shut behind me. My parents didn't watch class. There were no monitors in the lobby of the dance school. The studio door did not have an observation window. The school didn’t host an “observation week.” My parents never saw me take a class! They never saw me teach a class! They only saw me on stage. They only saw the finished product.

I began teaching a plié combination, and just as on stage, as soon as I began instructing, the nervousness vanished. I became immersed in teaching, sharing, and dissecting ballet, and inspiring these young artists. I was almost unaware that my parents were there. Almost!

After class, I took my parents to lunch. The entire car ride there, and well into our meal, my mom and dad could not stop raving about the entire morning. As I anticipated, my Dad loved the music, and was completely impressed with the accomplished voices. And Mom gushed over the University’s stunning architecture, beautiful performances, and noticeably considerate community of students.

“But your class, Heather!” They paused, and sincerely continued, “You were so engaging. Your students were hung on your every word!” They carried on, “Everyone was having so much fun!” I was so utterly flattered and proud as they spoke. My heart was overflowing. My mom continued on, “You have become a Sherry Alban and a Dermot Burke, your favorite teachers and inspirations. You've become a mixture of all those great teachers you loved, yes, but more so…”

“You have become you!”

After 35 years of teaching dance, owning dance schools, dancing professionally, starting non profit dance companies, writing curriculums, creating repertory and full length ballets, guesting, speaking, and continually studying dance, it is true, I have become ME!

Having my parents attest to this and sing their praise was a blue ribbon moment for me! 

The next week in class, I told my students about my parent’s visit and their reaction. I asked them, “No matter how young or old we are, do we always want to make our parents proud?” We all agreed that whether it's your blood family or not, whoever your family is, you always want to make them proud.

A couple weeks later, I was a guest on the Kick Ball Change Podcast, and after sharing the same story, the hosts agreed that whether you're three, or 53, you want to make your parents proud. The co host added, “My parents are both gone, and every day I say, “Hey, how did I do? Can you give me a sign?”

Last week, I wrote a blog post about dancing foremost for yourself, as opposed to dancing for your teacher, an audience, a judge, or your family. You should absolutely be dancing for you first. That is the sure path to becoming, learning, and growing into your unique self. And if you do so, THEN, you will be seen! You will be recognized! You will be celebrated! By your teachers, audiences, judges …and your family. You will make them proud!

Dance for YOU, become YOU, and YOU will be celebrated!