Pointes and Perspective #19 Be The Calm In The Chaos

We all need a place we can go for comfort, to feel calm, and find peace and stability. A centered place amidst the chaos when the world around you is turbulent.

In an often intolerant world, having a safe space to go to is incredibly important for maintaining good mental health. A place where you can go to relax and recharge. A space free of judgment where you can let your guard down and truly be yourself.

At the University where I teach Ballet, I often have students who studied with me in past semesters stop by, and ask to take my class. My answer is always a wholehearted, “Yes!” and I repeatedly express my sincere happiness to see them throughout the class. I am always humbly honored that they choose to spend some of their free time here in my class, and pleased that they feel welcome at all times.

A couple weeks ago, I had a former student stop by at the start of class, and ask if she could observe my class. Again, my answer was, of course, “Yes!” I was once again delighted, although slightly surprised, as most often, former students stop by to take class, not watch. She sat up front, right next to the cabinet where I referenced my lesson plan, watching contentedly, smiling up at me each time I passed her, and responding and engaging politely when I occasionally asked for her input. She remained the entire class and joyfully moved on to her day.

Early this week, I was again teaching Ballet at the University, when a third of the way through class, another former student, who I hadn’t seen in almost a year, respectfully stuck her head in the door, and whispered, “Can I hang out here for a bit.” Yet again, my answer was, naturally, “Yes.” I was thrilled to see her, although certainly puzzled at the odd request. She silently removed her shoes and took a seat in the back of the studio. Within a couple minutes she was standing, marking the frappé combination. And a moment later, using a spare barre to join the combination in her jeans and socks! When I worked my way around the classroom, I slipped her a quick hug and whispered, “So good to see you!” She continued to take her unobtrusive class in the corner, and slipped out 20 minutes later.

I drove home with my heart full, realizing that my Ballet classroom was a haven. That no matter what was going on in these student’s lives - final exams, financial hardship, break ups - they could find peace for 20 minutes, or an hour and a half! I was so relieved and grateful that they felt my class was not only for training, goal achievement, learning and motivation, but emotionally a place where they feel safe, free, and secure.

I pondered what creates a space such as this. A place where we can learn, develop and grow together. A place where we can laugh and cry, experiment and fail. A place where we take the time to explore, discuss and share. A place where we know that we can speak, act, listen, and BE with an open heart. A place where we truly care for each other.

I realized that this haven, this safe space, this community of caring, begins with us! Perhaps it is because I am an open book, and I speak freely, although politely and respectfully, but I am unabashedly ME, showing students that they can be truly themselves! Maybe it is that I make good old-fashioned small talk when students arrive, asking if they’ve had a busy day. Or that I smile a lot and throw in humor when possible. Is it that I let my facial expressions and body language convey unconditional positive regard? It may be that I let students know that I still care about them, even when they’re not at their best or even if they’ve made a huge mistake. Or that I give students my full attention, making eye contact. It could be that I make sure students know I am not going to judge them, only help them. Could it be that I let student’s see compassion in my eyes and in my tone of voice? Maybe it is simply that I focus on fun!

Whatever it may be, create that calm space amongst the chaos. Dance, our dance studios, and our dance community are often our student’s chosen haven. Being a safe space for them could prevent an angry blow up, a failed exam, salvage a relationship, or even save a life.

"Be the still point in the turning world." - T.S. Eliot